Paris - SPRING/SUMMER 2006 - Dior to Hermes

I've been sick all morning - a mild hangover segued into an excruciating migraine. Marc and Stella are amazing though - Marc with the chicken broth and rice and water and Stell for never leaving my side. She's the best friend you could ever hope for when youre sick. But because I'm single-mindedly retarded, I'm here looking at shows. For *you*.

Christian Dior - Nude fabrics and torn lace and fishnets, very much like the gorgeous dress Kate Moss wore to the CFDA awards a month or so ago. Jaw-droppingly minimal - not showy in any way. It was all so beautiful, but I'm just not sure what to think of a non-costumey Dior. I cant criticize change, especially when it still looks so good.




Christian Lacroix - Oooooh, the scarves. Oooooh, the dresses. Perfect yacht-wear - a 30s yacht sailing down the Nile. So pretty and sophisticated.





Commes des Garcons - Concepty Queen and lots of plaids. Kind of unneccesary.

Costume National - A little cheesy. Jersey-girl hair. Sexy that's trying too hard.



Dries van Noten - Kimono-tinged suits, tie-dyed satiny silks. Very grownup and avant garde, but "normal" enough to wear to work.




Elie Saab - Ensuring our celebrities will still have sexy pretty and beadazzled dresses to wear on red carpets.




Emanuel Ungaro - Crazy ruffles, but not in a good modern way. Toned down a tad, it could be good.



Giambattista Valli - For a modern Audrey - classy, sophisticated, simple, but confident.





Givenchy - What a new Givenchy! And more wrestling champion belts! Not Audrey, just cool and pretty and interesting.




Hermes - A slightly bland Havana. I will take a handbag, of course, and anything scarf-printed.

Paris - SPRING/SUMMER 2006 - AF Vandevorst to Chloe

AF Vandevorst - Shoulder-baring loose knits. Looks comfortable and very anti...I will have pirate-motorcycle boots this year if it kills me! I like the layered and textured whites best - or at least they photograph best.




Akris - Simple, sedate. Something for someone a little bland but pretty, like Claire Danes.



Alexander McQueen - Like Karl Lagerfeld, I think McQueen makes very forward, wearable, but not ever too boring or too simple. Theyre statement clothes that arent costumes...clothes for rich girls who dont need to look like anyone else. Here he combines romance with space-age and a little bit of ancient Greece. I could picture a goddess wearing this on an average day:

And, dear Lord, I just want to be this:

This is just pretty much everything I'd wear for a vacation to Paradise Island. The more I drool...are those heavy-weight boxing champion belts?? Loooove it. I love the designer's "we love you kate" t-shirt at the end the most, though. Poor Kate.

Andrew Gn - Clean black and white laces (trend?!?!), puffy sleeves with super-tight wrists, sparkly and/or lacey minis. Very very good. Dont like the colorful stuff quite so much.



Ann Demeulmeester - Hrmm. No photos. Weird.

Balenciaga - Oh sweet Jesus, so beautiful, so cool. Funny egg-shaped 60s dresses, the ultimate edwardian jackets and blouses, perfect skinny trousers - they should measure your cool quotient before they allow you to purchase. I'd hate to see these end up on - horrors! - Paris Hilton or something godawful like that. Thankfully, Balenciaga does not court celebrities and you just have to have respect for that sort of dedication to real fashion and, uh, financial intelligence [Begin long, meaningless tirade on why designers suck celebrity dick, give clothes away the second theyre shown on the runway, so that when they actually arrive in stores 6 months later, no one wants to buy them cuz theyve all been seen on every tabloid cover on some second-rate talent at whatever envelope opening. They say that it's free advertising, but to exactly whom? The people watching red carpet reports that cant afford the clothes? Or the people who can afford them that dont want to ever be seen in US Weekly's "Who wore it best?"? Or the people who are on red carpets who can afford them and who wear them but who dont pay for anything? Oh, but you see, I'm not thinking about perfume sales! Getting the name out there, so that the people who cant afford the clothes but who do spend outside their means will spend $90 on their perfume that, the last I checked, really had nothing to do with fashion. In the interest of full disclosure, I'm certainly not averse to buying designer perfume, but that's not my point...End tirade.]






Bruno Pieters - Audrey-simplicity - pretty and prim.



Celine - I think I will miss Kors...similar air of jet-setting luxe, but with a slightly more obvious and obnoxious Paris Hilton tone to it. Celine under Kors was extravagant, but never obnoxious - or at least more tongue-in-cheek. This is like Cavalli's version of Celine. Ok, maybe not that obnoxious.



Chanel - Girlishly street denims and dresses easily transform into career girl smarts with the right shoe and accessories. The color combinations are a bit too damaging to my sensibilities though. And I dont think I can personally jump on the knee-length denim and/or lace short campaign. Or men wearing Chanel tweed suits. Modified and shortened kimono jackets sound like a good plan though.







Chloe - Quirky Prada-y, but with a committment to being pretty. Prada is all about being so cool and so confident that you can push the envelope of ugly, but this is def a pretty girl who wants to be pretty, but push the envelope of what is kooky. Note: ties seen on Chanel and Chloe? A trend that comes and goes, so if you want in do it now.

Milan - SPRING/SUMMER 2006 - Menichetti to Versace

You know what I think is funny? These totally meaningless obsessions we all have and the agreed-upon importance of different features of the obsession. For instance, last night we became the last people on the planet to watch "Sideways", and all of the totally not-even-very-classy and seemingly ill-mannered ways to sample a glass of wine. I wonder how each of the quirks came about - yes, they're all very practical in the information that they obtain - and how they became acceptable ways of doing so in public. Similarly, at a fashion show: the catwalk, the unsmiling model, the catwalk strut that bears no resemblance to an actual human's walk, even the model's figure. How were all of these things decided on? Yes, some are practical, but how did they become the unquestionable standard?

Menichetti - Surprisingly somber for a Spring collection - only a few pale dresses and spring coats to clue us in.

Missoni - Light and fun - the signature patterns are hard to take too seriously. I like that their clothes inherently appear vintage. Whatever fabric or thread that they use has that polyester-in-a-good-way sheen. Floaty florals and laces are a nice addition.



Miu Miu - Omg. I love the normal-sized glasses and the stars and the color and the white t's underneath everything. Love love love.



Moschino - Not-quite-as-ugly cowgirls, but some nice prints and skirts and shoes. And I'm a sucker from trompe l'oeil and capes!





Philosophy - It's hard for me to focus on anything more than the bad wigs - which are a cute hairstyle choice for some and a hyper-obvious and unflattering choice for others. A little too bland and a little too ladylike-and-with-zero-irony for my tastes. Or maybe it's just the wigs?

Pollini-Rifat Ozbek - Yawn. With a cute dress or two...



Prada - Ready to see what they'll be carrying at the gap in 4 years? Apparently old Helmut Lang! Nothing flashy (except for shoes and, uh, clear visors). Simple fabrics, solid neutral colors, little decoration, thin belts - everything loosely fitted, but exposed nipples are still OK and maybe some gold lace too. Likeable but not earth-shattering to my lust, though perhaps earth-shattering to fashion.




Roberto Cavalli - At the other end of the fashion (and respect and talent and good taste) spectrum, we have garish glam glam glammed up and living-like-it's-1999-or-maybe-1986 Cavalli. I do like this shirt/skirt/dress?:

Trend note: big black gingham is everywhere for Spring (and like *crazy* on this partic runway, but even if you hate Cavalli like I do - it was also seen on much better runways too).


Versace - Surprising pretty and sexy and lacking all manner of obnoxious - nude and caramel shades on body-hugging-but-covering dresses and shorts and suits. Very grown-up YSL - I'm actually a little proud of stupid Donatella.