the kind of ennui that comes from having too much time on one's hands and too little will to find something productive to doBut the last few days I'm feeling more than just weary. I'm anxious. My life is in total flux right now, with more conflict than I care for (I prefer none). I dont know what to do with my life, I dont know where I should work, if I should work, where we should be, what I should do, if I'm qualified for any sort of paycheck. I feel worthless and wasted. At these moments, I'm thankful that I have my children in my life, because it is far too easy to move to dark places. I'm disappointed in myself, I'm disappointed in the choices that people in my life have made.
There's nothing serious here and nothing more or less than any other human on earth, but sometimes it's just hard to shake this feeling and to remember that it's worth it.
I just wish that we could all collectively agree to just ignore any conflict. What good does it bring, really, to face things head on and make pronouncements that change the course of all of our lives, forever?
[PS- Re my last post's question about showing personality in an interview? I decided on some pink and brown high heeled wingtips, my vintage navy clutch, and a tiny smudge of silver eyeshadow I swear. Random? yes. Did I feel confident? yes. Did I get an offer? unknown.]
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