Fall Winter 2005-2006 New York Day 6

Donna Karan - Much fussier than you'd expect from DK. Futuristic, Helmut Lang-y, less girly than the recent collections that I actually liked.

Sweetface - Jennifer Lopez - Can you say Vanity Project? There is no comprehensible explanation for the necessity of this show or even for the existence of this line. This is her "upscale" collection *cough*, yet the only people who could remotely be interested in her style are in 7th grade. Whoooooo could this market be? It's by no means awful, it's just that whoever is the actual designer should have done it under her own name.

Ralph Lauren - I will never tire of sweater dresses, pinstripes, and the 30s. Glamorous clothes for the girl who hates to talk about fashion...the non-boring no-nonsense girl's Armani or perhaps a less-flashy Michael Kors.



Derek Lam - Rich hippy vibe, but still body-conscious and classy. The pulled-together girl who thinks herself artistic.



Roland Mouret - Sexy secretary suits with some off-kilter details leave me breathless for more.


Skirts with little capes, dresses with over dresses, shrugs with full backs?...layering without adding much width, I like it.

Fall Winter 2005-2006 New York Day 5

Boudicca - Bladerunner coats, killer boots, spats?, oil-slick metallics.

The poof sleeved jackets are the more futuristic version of that Yohji jacket I died for a few years ago.

Calvin Klein - Too dark to make out many details. The leather?vinyl? pieces appear limp and ill-fitting and in the most unappealing shades. The fitted coatdresses with tall boots seem nice and are (thankfully) not at all 60s in tone. I really like the back of the chartreuse gown:

I always think a little gathering makes things so much girlier.

Diesel - If you can get past the abominations in denim and fringe, there are some good pieces. Such as the slit skirts and petticoats and wackily belted jackets.

J.Mendel - Ok, I'm seriously getting obsessed with the 3/4-length-bell-sleeved jacket. I really love the tie on this dress:

All in all, surprisingly edgy mixed with the expected pretty and fur. Plus, I will never not love a blood velvet tuxedo.



Pretty impressive for a furrier, not a Fourier.

Jeffrey Chow - The prettiest, coolest schoolteacher. Maybe a little Kate Hepburn, with the boxy plaids and pulled-back hair.

Peter Som - Russian princess-Heidi-schoolgirl? It works. The colors are great, the dresses are gorgeous.

Vera Wang - Pretty fabrics, but everything seems a little limp, like everyone is unexcited and has bad posture. The belts are nice though.



Wunderkind - Cute dresses but hideous pants. So high-waisted and bulgy around the stomach...a very bad dorky vision.

Zac Posen - Oooh, such a rich but surprisingly fun look.

Overly-tailored and detailed, but in a good way. I like that he doesnt do anything small and he never takes the simple and pretty (easy) route. Very pretty, but also very interesting - a little off. In the wrong hands, everything could be extremely ugly.

Fall Winter 2005-2006 New York Day 4

Anna Sui - Woah, is that a *beat up* Naomi in the first photo?? Brown and teal herringbone is my new favorite,

brown tights will be a must-have, oooooh and brown velvet trousers. I like the wackier side of 60s-styling - classic Anna Sui, but a little fresher and prettier this season. Wendy, whyyyyyyy didnt I buy that lace petticoat in the Haight a few years ago???

Behnaz Sarafpour - Weird, the first few photos remind me of a subdued Anna Sui...Less precious than past seasons, so I'm a little disappointed. She does pretty/precious/princess so well. The signature ribbon details are still nice, I just want more of them. I guess maharajah is the look for fall, but here it looks a little boring. And dont those herringbone pieces seem totally out of place?

Daryl K - Minus the horrendous cowboy boots, this is totally the mood I'm in right now. "Moody Teenager" is the perfect description. Layers over tight pants, beat up boots...


Lela Rose - Knee-length trousers, wide-legged trousers, funny little jackets...such a sweet collection.

Perfect for the everyday eccentric.


Michael Kors - Slouchy jet-set equestrians. Everytime I view his shows, all I can think is how much I want this life. It's a different type of fantasy than I usually find in fashion, but a fun fantasy nonetheless. A tad overboard on fur though. Pure American ease, a girl could rush in from outside or off the plane and toss on any of these evening looks and a swipe of lipgloss and look perfect.

Phi - Razor-sharp suits, military coats, combat dresses, I love the slightly swingy jackets.

He manages to maintain a feminine breath too.

Fall Winter 2005-2006 New York Day 3

Bill Blass - Society girl suits...only for someone whose sole aim is to be proper, yet fashionable. Some pretty and some semi-shocking dresses, but nothing to get my blood rushing. Staid is the key word. And not that there's anything wrong with that, it's just not what I would dream of spending loads of money.

Isaac Mizrahi - Bizarrely cool. Figure skater mini-dresses and pantsuits. Richly beautiful. Can I only speak in adverbs? This is essentially a couture collection.




Marc - The last few seasons, I've felt so down on Marc Jacobs. His LV collections are fantastic, but his others seem too low-end and concepty to me. Again, nothing on which I'd dream to spend money. Except these Vivienne Westwoody pirate boots:


Matthew Williamson - English cool girl...these are straight Kate Moss/Sienna Miller stylings. I guess someone should capitalize on it. His colors and fabrics are quite nice though.


Do you notice that we're not seeing all the clothes though?

Monique Lhuillier - Oooooh. Dark. Drama. I loooove that gold bead necklace. The style of skirt is so new, I'm definitely going to find this pattern.

The dresses have a vintage feel but are more substantial and more fresh than your standard Audrey Hepburn ripoff.

The trenches are the perfect Russian Spy, while the village girl skirt has been classed up so much it's almost impossible to see its origins.


Love it all...a very mysterious Oscar de la Renta. I think that can only be a winning formula. Plus, look at how pretty she herself is.

Narciso Rodriguez - Clean, pretty. A toned-down Oscar (again, you cant go wrong). An impeccable white blouse:

I abs love his over-everything bra/tank thing (it fits well with my love of tube tops over dress shirts).

Explain this skirt! Are those rhinestones or a print on the fabric? The fabric seems too delicate to hold anything that heavy, but it's just so shiny I could believe those are rubies.

Fall Winter 2005-2006 New York Day 2

BCBG Max Azria - Too hippy for my tastes. This seems too loose and dark for BCBG...it's usually so girly and sparkly. I'd be depressed wearing any of this.

Carolina Herrera - Pretty, ladylike, as per usual. I'm not a fan of fur (unless it's fake), but this jacket is just so very cool:

I will never not love 3/4 sleeves with tall gloves, poof sleeves, cap sleeves, ribbons...classically decadent.



Jill Stuart - Victorian Eastern European Village girl. I love how fussy and complicated the fabrics and ruffles and layers are. The mix of time periods reminds me of a Dr Who sidekick.


The shoes are fantastically fussy too.



Marc Jacobs - So heavy. I feel like I couldnt walk fast in any of these clothes. On the whole, fussy little girls' clothes. I dont think this is right for anyone I know. I see that he's trying to change the silhouette, but only the very young and thin should attempt to do so.

Oscar de la Renta - Less pretty than usual, but still so ladylike and cool. The most perfect coats to be found, Prada-esque full skirts, rich colors...



I'm def thinking gold for Fall.


Proenza Schouler - A 40s vamp? Perhaps Marlene Dietrich or an 80s Madonna? A 60s henchman's girlfriend? The overly detailed, heavily stitched bodices and dresses are a nice signature. And maybe I'm in love with yellow.

Fall Winter 2005-2006 New York Day 1

Diane von Furstenberg - Always a favorite...the clothes that are closest to my price range and the closest to my ideal of something that can easily be thrown on with zero thinking and with maximum coolness.



Doo Ri - Awesome. I love how the crop jacket evolves throughout the show, and I love it in each instance. The blue she uses is dreamy and the shoes and pants are pure cool-girl, very reminiscent of my friend Vivian. I like how well-edited this collection is too, nothing extraneous.



Hollywould - Just awful. Because you're a semi-successful, semi-known shoe designer, does not mean you know anything about fashion or that you have a style anyone would be interested in mimicing/adopting. This is low-class Michael Kors mixed with some seriously bad Roberto Cavalli. It's always a bad sign when the models look like crap and appear to have thick waists.

Tuleh - At heart, some great pieces, but it's all overshadowed by tooooo much. Too many accessories, too many trashy pieces, too much effort in creating a 'downtown' look. That said, when he sticks to his core ladylike ways, there are some almost perfect dresses:



Habitual - Comfortable downtown cool. Plus, these look like my most favorite jeans:

Nothing earth-shattering, and I'm not certain it needs a show.

Imitation of Christ - To be truthful, not nearly as shitty as usual, but still completely devoid of anything necessitating a show. These are like the in-store brand of a good boutique. Simple basics, slightly trendy, nothing that would ever need an ad, its own store...and 70 fucking photos? Ummm, edit. The same boring dress in 5 colors is still a boring dress.

Jasmin Shokrian - Nice draping and the sort of random pin-tucking that I like (though I usu just use a safety pin and I'm usu concealing a stain), but a little concept-y bland.

Luca Luca - Rich, beautiful fabrics. Very pretty, though maybe we've already seen this last year at Carolina Herrera and Louis Vuitton. Woah, the designer is even looking like Marc Jacobs!

Richard Chai - Avant-Chanel. Interesting and new take on the ribbon belt. Beautiful coats.

But dont take my word for it, there are some other shows that might speak more to you...

Paris Fashion Week - Day 5c

Akris - So hiply elegant. Not the slightest bit bland...cool, appropriate girl in the office. Tissue-thin evening wear - photo 34 is jaw-dropping.

Alexander McQueen - Breathtakingly cute. So many different skirts, nipped-waist jackets, fabrics from another time (many different times). Baby doll ballerinas and manga girls.

Chanel - Ooooh supermodels! And matching tweed ties for tweed suits! Coatdresses and capris, 80s French girls, gorgeous laces. Beautiful and classic and cool.

Chloe - crunchy-glam-kinda boring. It's like what a model wears to look like she's not trying to hard or stuck on herself. She doesnt fool anyone.

Christian Lacroix - Seriously toned down Lacroix. It's very pretty, just not what I expect from him. This seems more like Chloe to me. The multi-colored and mismatching fabrics on the gowns is lovely though...very muted and not overwhelming.

John Galliano - Farm girls, bonnets, gold newsprint...hmm. But beautiful coats, seriously cool dresses and bikinis. It's a tossup. Oh wait, the finale dress. Mmmm, I could eat it.

Lanvin - I have a crush on that first dress, and the Audrey-esque dresses are nice, but I could leave the jackets.

Louis Vuitton -

Martin Margiela -

Nina Ricci -

Rick Owens -

Rochas -

Sonia Rykel -

Valentino -

YSL Rive Gauche -

Paris Fashion Week - Day 5b

Ann Demuelmeester - Rebel rebel. Shredded jackets, stringy and drapey skirts. Though, another collection that's better as a Fall.

Celine - So very un-Michael Kors. Nice prints, confidently pretty, slightly prim, youthful. Like a 60s dancer in her off hours or Selma Blair. I was looking forward to this show and am impressed.

Hussein Chalayan - A little droopy, but the stringy black dresses and floaty florals at the end are just gorgeous.

Martin Grant - The most perfect work clothes I've seen. Shirt dresses, suits with full skirts, knee length pant suits. Just classic and beautiful. Loooooove.

Paris Fashion Week - Days 3 and 4

Andrew Gn - Complicated simplicity. Subtle luxury. I love the mini belted coats - I feel that Jeannie wore them...or maybe just Kate Moss.

Christian Dior - Ooooooooh. So soft and London-girl-mixed-up, but pretty and 60s and just nice. Never sugar, but girly and cool. Then sexed-up Frency for evening. And that's a fabulous suit on John.

Commes des Garcon - I'm cuckoo for tutus - like an apron with oomph. Not so crazy for the British judge wigs.

Costume National - Tribal YSL. Sexy, drapey, but even so - kind of boring, though I'd take a pair of Disco pants any day.

Dries van Noten - Peasanty bland.

Emanuel Ungaro - Swingy, fluffy, cuuuuuute, sexy. Perfect. The skirts, the cuffed trousers, fun and sexy but not overtly.

Helmut Lang - I'm usu a little bored with Helmut, but this time his dresses are pretty cool and his jackets are so well-tailored, but still very modern and unique.

Jean Paul Gaultier - Elise Crombez is totally my favorite model right now. She's more cool than pretty - which I guess is very Kate Moss too...actually, she looks like a European Scarlett Johansson. Cancan ruffles, trenches

Lagerfeld Gallery - Peekaboo tulle for day and full-blown layers of tulle for evening. Boyish "ties" used as wide belts. Some devastatingly hideous blouses - peekaboo shoulders? Umm no. That's an invention that I will never forgive Donna Karan for...her name for such a style is just as terrible: The Cold Shoulder. The gowns were sufficiently glamourous...sort of down-scaled Chanel.

Sophia Kokosalaki - Innocent, unassumingly complicated. Lots of draping, texture. In other fabrics and colors, I'd be more excited, though I want almost every piece.

Stella McCartney - Breezily sophisticated. Unfussy. I love the big thick bows and negligee (not at all lingerie) for evening.

Veronique Branquinho - This would make a much better Fall collection. The fabrics and colors seem so heavy, I feel stifled just imagining wearing them on an 80degree day. Boxy and mainly curve-concealing, it just doesnt feel like Spring. In spite of that, I love photos 22-24, but for THIS FALL!

Viktor & Rolf - Blouses, belts, trenches, short man's trousers - I really love it all. I feel like they're usu concept over wearability, but this is all great. Suits with bows, gowns encased in ribbons, looooooove.

Vivienne Westwood - Industrial, a little military, a little girly, some trompe l'oeil. Art-school chic with the most fantastic shoes. Her cropped trousers are the coolest of the cool - how do they flare out like that? Is it just the fabric? (Photo 42)

Paris Fashion Week - Days 1 and 2

AF Vandevorst - Very LES cool. Not sure if runway-worthy.

Balenciaga - Wide pants, nautical themes, bondage-heavy YSL girl.

Charles Anastase - The ugliest and worst dressed little girl since Jon Benet.

Gaspard Yurkievich - No pictures.

Junya Watanabe - Avant garde prairie. I'm certainly never going to be pretty enough to pull this off.

Undercover - Frumpy and sacklike.

Yohji Yamamoto - Pretty avant garde. Suits to die for (22).

Milan Fashion Week - Days 2-4 (part 2)

ALESSANDRO DELL'ACQUA - Rich hippy, form-fitting suits, truly hideous pants (photo 18). Not too exciting.

ANTONIO BERARDI - Pretty, complicated suits and dresses that remind me of Alexander McQueen. Funny models-practicing hats. I'm crazy for all the jackets. *Crazy*

Dolce & Gabbana - The Dolce version of ladylike. The lady that is having an affair with her 18 year old son's best friend. The suit in photo 51 is like Sandy at the end of Grease, but ready for work. Everything is so wearable and workable but shyness is not allowed.

Etro - More rich hippie. This time not cute in addition to not exciting.

Gianfranco Ferre - A little too Claude Montana and a lot too bland. Even with the severity of the suits, I'm still bored. Even the "shocking" vulgarity of photo 28 (which is the definition of hideous) is a little yawn. Passing moments of YSL, but with none of the sophistication.

Giorgio Armani - 123 photos? Youve got to be kidding. I hate the hats. Some asian inspired dresses, some awful 80s bathing suits, blah blah blah. Some pretty sparkles at the end. I'm exhausted.

Gucci - Tom Fordian, in a good way. Autumn-like, in a confused way. The thick belts are quite interesting. Loved it. I think the new designer is quite on-track.

Jil Sander - Simply strange wallflowers. This girl also buys a lot of Prada. The intellectual Italian girl who shuns the sex-pots.

La Perla - Lots of lace, lots of black-white-nude. I picture Monica Bellucci, a serious, sensual, mysterious, slightly older woman. A little room for flirting, but, honey, she dont need to.

MaxMara - Ladylike mixed with African safari. I'm reading that the pants looked like diapers, but that's hard to see in the photos. I'm pretty against diaper-esque pants, though, I think.

Missoni - Prettiest prints, the slimmest cuts. Sexy Italian von Furstenberg. I'm dying for the sweater in photo 36.

Miu Miu - Funkiest jet-setter in 1963. Boxy suits and clingy dresses. Perfect couch prints, appliques, shiny coat dreses. Coooool.

Moschino - More funky 60s. A good extension of Miu Miu. Picnic prints here, though, and cotton lace petticoats. Photo 38 nnnhhh.

Moschino Cheap & Chic - Psycho Hawaii. I'll pass.

Prada - Such a style change...more tomboy teen than ladylike prim. The cool, confident girl who is nice to everyone but friends with no one. Effortlessly cool and pretty.

Roberto Cavalli - 88 pictures. Here, I'll take a wild guess: obnoxiously sexy Paris Hilton wear. Am I right?

Versace - The most toned-down Ive ever seen Versace. This looks more like Michael Kors than anything (a very big compliment...). The sexiest knee-length shorts ever produced, and dont worry, plenty o cleavage.

Milan Fashion Week - Days 2-4

Alberta Ferretti - Slinky ladylike, lovely colors. A sort of heavy opulence that I'm undecided on. The shredded gowns are just gorgeous though (photos 41 and 43). If celebs (I mean their stylists) were smart, we'd see all of these on the red carpet.

Anna Molinari - Always the most beautiful blues. She makes clothes that seem like they're the wacky/trendy bits from any time period. Everything has a vintage feel, without seeming dated or tied to a specific time period. I'm not sold on the ruffles at hip level and poufs at thigh level for the average girl, but she just makes very Italian, very beautiful pieces. The lingerie pieces manage to look very elegant - never trashy or overtly sexual, even when see-through. Photos 8, 30, and 33 are my favorites.

Bottega Veneta - BV is real luxury. No showy labels or styles, just a look that screams Lush and Rich and Old Money. Hermes is a dream, but BV is what I would want every single day. Yes, I'm dreaming of handbags again. How cute are photos 21, 26, 27? So refreshing to just see pretty clothes without all the bindings of "ladylike".

Burberry Prorsum - Pastels, pretty clothes, nothing to criticize. All the perfectly pretty has realllllly gotten old. Floral print jackets are nice. Truly hideous lame dresses though in photos 18 and 19. Eww and skirts too. If I hadnt looked at the designer, I would guess this to be Donatella's Versus. Not a compliment.

D&G - 50s style Hawaii, but all sexed-up with some 60s style. Photo 6 is so sweet until you notice that all you're seeing is skin. Scandalous! I like that D&G is always a hodgepodge, like you'd never buy a full outfit. Just like, a blue-green sequined skirt (photo 9) or floral print short-shorts (photo 10). Where else would you find such a thing? How can you criticize this much fun?

DSquared - Sexy suits and jackets for a girl who doesnt work in an office. I think their jackets are seriously original and crave-worthy - the best thing theyve got. Beyond that, a little trashy. Though I looooooove short-shorts. Just maybe not on me.

Fendi - While I enjoyed the prints and colors and basic simplicity, there doesnt seem to be a definite image or style at Fendi...even though I know it's Karl Lagerfeld. It doesnt scream out Fendi the way Chanel does, and I'm not talking about logos. I do love photos 13, 35, 53. The crazy print pants are completely unwearable and there are wayyyy too many of them. You just now you'll see this on aging EuroTrash in 6 months and I'm not looking forward to it.

Milan Fashion Week - Day 1

Emporio Armani - 147 photos?! That would usually make me hate this, but the floaty looks that I've enjoyed this season are all here. Though this time with 70s disco sweatbands. and 70s interpretations of Great Gatsby are always good. Surprisingly not as boring as usual...he must have a younger designer designing.

Gibo - 's ok.

Marni - Love the colors and fabric. I really want to be the girl that layers like photo 6. Cute, very prada-esque but not as nerdy - more hitchcock. I'm so bananas for aqua, I cant stand it. And how jaw-droppingly beautiful is the designer??

Pollini-Rifat Ozbek - Rich hippy that just got home from 3 months in India. Lovely golds and blues.

Pucci - How could you not want all of these? Especially if you live in Florida and drive a jag...And especially photo 24 - I'm *dying* for it. So confident, so loud, so cool.

London Fashion Week - Day 3 and 4 (part 2) and Day 5

Basso & Brook - The colors and prints and fabrics are so dreamy magical. Fashionable faeries, for sure. Asian detailing without the cliched brocade. Very deserving winners, I'd agree.

Betty Jackson - Ooooh love. The plaids and shapes are nice. And the models have such nice hair! So 70s working girl, but the cool girl who worked in a library, not the dorky secretary. So v cool.

Boyd - Polka dots, aprons, ribbons, full skirts, 60s prom dresses, was this collection made especially for me? A little precious, but the vintage and homemade feel make up for it. How short is the designer though, and how hideous her boots?!

Camilla Staerk - Nice runway. A little too pretensious and not too exciting.

David Cooper - Freaky and kind of ill-fitting.

Ebru Ercon - Nice lighting but rather bland. The whites are oh so crisp though.

Jasper Conran - You can only wear these clothes poolside in Palm Beach or while driving your '72 mercedes roadster. And each outfit can be brought up to a 10 with just the addition of some big JackieO shades. I'm dying for silver sequined trousers. I'm not sure I'll ever be happy without them.

Jenny Packham - Screaming Vegas, but in a good way. Except, perhaps, the graffitti trousers (jesus), rhinestone jeans (shudder), and cutoffs (eww).

Justin Oh - Kinda bland punk, a few really edgy pieces though.

Margaret Howell - Cute, classy work clothes. I'm really digging rolled up navy pants. I totally want everything here for my core wardrobe.

Rafael Lopez - Dramatic draping, slinky dresses, lovely colors. Interesting.

Robert Cary-Williams - Fleshy, flashy, Mad Maxian. I like it.

Rubecksen Yamanaka - Ho hum.

Scott Henshall - Gawdy Barbie wear. The show with the biggest breasts.

Sinhastanic - Blah.

Swash - Lovely prints but a little tent-like and retarded (see THE TWO PERSON T-SHIRT in photo 20 - I'm for serious).

Willow - Charmingly futuristic and fussy. Cool.

London Fashion Week - Day 3 and 4

Alistair Carr - Ugly. But at least different.

Ashish - Interesting tights. Not such a fan of the prints, though photo 8 is strangely appealing. And the crazy ruffled and plaid skirts, I am totally interested. I dont really want any of the actual pieces, but this might be the most personally inspiring collection I've seen.

Boudicca - Ooooooh. The trousers in photo 1 are so sharp, you can cut yourself. The whole collection - lace, extraneous straps and fabric - is so fucking tough. Only the prettiest and coolest girl you know can pull these looks off. A not-so-pretty girl would look like she was trying too hard to not care about her looks. A pretty girl just looks 100x prettier. If I won the lottery, I'd buy all these for Ann Marie.

Eley Kishimoto - Decidedly un-pretty prints (yay!) and a few really great pieces (the chevron striped mini peacoats, the long cheerleader skirts) and some really dated looking pieces.

Gardem - A little too Ralph Rucci. Overly complicated blah.

Julien MacDonald - the pictures...where are the pictures??

Peter Jensen - In spite of the freaky ass figure skaters, I see some cute pieces. Charmingly dorky/8th grade prom/7th grade home-ec project. I love the polkadots and that wacky green polyester-looking fabric, oh and that gorgeous yellow babydoll.

Preen - 's ok. Another Ralph Rucci/Helmut Lang. Just bland.

London Fashion Week - Day 1 and 2 (part 2)

Giles Deacon - First of all, LOOOOVE the hair. Espec Linda's (photo 1). In reading a description of this show, I'd say this is probably a show I'd hate. Instead, I love the Regal Beagle suits and dresses and platform shoes. The prints are crazy, the stripes so cooly different, and the pouf-sleeved jackets are so fucking awesome.

Jens Laugesen - Sharp, spacey suits and dresses. A little V The Final Battle. I dont think that's good.

Jessica Ogden - Caribbean cool. The colors and ruffles and the sexy without being too sexy style are maybe my new first choice for spring. I love the whole lack of pretension and simple love of fashion. Plus, I'm a fervent believer in ankle socks with high heels.

John Rocha - A little too tied up and layered for spring. It's making me hot.

Jonathan Saunders - Slinky fabrics. Geometric/mathematical patterns. Such a startling change from the rest of the runways. Very wearable, very cool. The geeky funny girl who, when you give her a second look, is always dressed better than you. And she beat you on the last pre-cal quiz.

Nicole Farhi - Wow. Perfect balance of the 50s Lady and modern stylings to keep this from looking like every other show this season. She's got the key looks: man-style pants, ruffles, florals, lady-like jackets, but instead of making it all sugary/girly/pastel-y/already-all-over-the-mall, she shot it all through a 60s spaghetti western and maybe threw in some Sophia Lauren too. The sexy but delicate tops with man-style trousers cut to capri length are my favorites.

Paul Smith - First off the runway has me desperate for spring. Looooooove *everything*...the actual clothes, the style, the prints, the kneesocks. And the models are the prettiest girls ever, right?? So english garden party. I think I'll add white and beige kneesocks to my wish list and maybe a pink pleated skirt.

Temperley - Pretty.

London Fashion Week - Day 1 and 2

Ben de Lisi - Sorbet colors and structured jackets arent my favorite, but flirty and heavily ornamented skirts are very pretty. I think London is going to be like NY - very pretty, very safe...not so original. It's like it almost doesnt matter where you buy your clothes, you'll still look good...this is not necessarily good. It's still the homogenizing of fashion, it's just less skin baring.

Bora Aksu - More sorbet, a tad more 70s, but still relatively safe. And maybe less pretty and way more ugly.

Clements Ribeiro - Gorgeous prints and colors and suits. Cool girl easy pieces.

Eley Kishimoto - Hmmm...the prints are nice, but the designs are a little too simple. Like, I'm not sure why there needed to be a runway. It's a little too FrostFrench or Built By Wendy - good clothes, just not Fashion Week.

Elspeth Gibson - Simple (maybe a little too), pretty...the evening is gorgeous though. Floaty and dreamy. Looove.

Emma Cook - Bland to ugly.

FrostFrench - A little too simple, but wearably sexy and cute. Not too safe and not too ladylike, which I appreciate.

Gharani Strok - Sexy, pretty, 70s. Ok.

New York Fashion Week - Day 5 (part two)

Ralph Lauren - Gatsby Glamour. The beginning suits and color scheme are so boring, I cant even take it. But the gowns, the gowns! Gorgeous.

Ralph Rucci - I really dont enjoy this designer. It all seems so boring and a tad pretensious. With the exception of the last 3 gowns. Just classic beauties. Maybe a tad *old*.

New York Fashion Week - Day 5

Calvin Klein - Classically simple Calvin. The teals and watery knits are so nice in the heat. So many people try for this minimalism, but it always comes across as lazy. This is perfectly executed and studied simplicity.

Marc - First of all, I covet the shoes. Second of all, I love the layers with extra bits of string and ribbons. However, I take great offense to what appears to be denim with elastic cuffs (photo 16).

Michael Kors - Ooooh, let's jetset to Greece in 1972. The blues, again, are just ocean gorgeous - particularly on that tiny fur (!) jacket. Everything he does just *screams* money and leisure.

Narciso Rodriguez - Loose and easy dressing with enough feminine fittings to keep you from looking like a potato sack. The little black dress with the aqua ribbon is the epitome of summer chic (photo 33).

Peter Som - Ruffly, floral-y, and fairly delightful. Photo 34 is just perfection.

New York Fashion Week - Day 4

Anna Sui - Oh you know how I hate cowboy hats. Partic Naomi Campbell in a cowboy hat. This collection has the Anna Sui mark, but it also still seems like a tired Ralph Lauren ad. Not a fan, but I'm very prejudiced towards such styles. I'd feel like a grandmother going to square dance practice in them. I'd wear photo 44 or 59 if you made me, though.

BCBG Max Azria - A tad too hippy for my tastes (I seriously feel like a designer is just phoning it in when a peasant blouse shows up). The sequins are nice (photo 12) and 42 is princess-perfect.

Donna Karan - Two very different people design for her labels, because how can I like DKNY so much and be so ambivalent towards Donna Karan? The dress is 35 is perfect...I really like the stiffness of the tulle.

J Mendel - Breezy, light as air dresses - so dreamy (photos 5,6,27). My favorite gathered short sleeves (photo 3). Oscar but with a lot of embellisment...sometimes good and sometimes bad.

Jill Stuart - The blues and lilacs are gorgeous. The confident girl who's a bit scary, wearing the cutest clothes imaginable (photos 10 (those shoes!),17,18,32).

Marc Jacobs - Crazy for obnoxious herringbone - a different take on the now-ubiquitous Chanel jacket tweed. Will love forever short-sleeved sweaters with full skirts, especially in over-sized gingham. This is the 50s dressing that I can actually pull off. So very much like the clothes my mom made me. Polka dot cardigans and sequined edged skirts are so what I want right now. It seems like it's been ages since I hungered for MJ. I love the colored petticoats peeking out from under the hems...I'm soooo hunting one down.

Menichetti - I'm usu very bitter towards designers showing for the first time, but I have to admit I really am impressed with this collection. It's Marc by Marc Jacobs cuteness and color with some Yohji-designed irregularities. The layering of a neckline (photo 1), the ruffle of a suit collar (photo 4), the bizarre but seriously cool buttoning of a jacket (photo 33). I would wear all of this every single day. Hmm, is this my favorite collection now? The only misstep is the Pam Anderson effect in photo 37 - the proportion is off and it's not flattering. I'm breathless for his upcoming Celine show.

Oscar de la Renta - I love this man. Even though he dresses Laura Bush (but he also dresses Theresa Heinz-Kerry). The resort we're going to in the Dominican Republic is in the same town as his resort. I dont think it's quite in our price range. He was born there, but is now solidly All-American. He defines American fashion in my opinion. Plus, he seems so nice and has an interesting life story (as does his wife, Annette. They say that the villian Goldfinger was based on her father - a gold baron. Crazy, eh?!). Finally, no boring-only-pretty! Crazy (and not at all tired) prints on perfectly executed and tasteful designs. This girl is the classiest girl in town (and maybe the sweetest), I wish so very bad to be this girl. His laces and dresses are a *dream*. Sigh. I have tears in my eyes.

United Bamboo - Breathy classics...dear god, is that overalls (photo 12)?? Girly, definitely not-ugly but no tears of wanting from me.

New York Fashion Week - Day 3 (part two)

DKNY - Ok, I'm totally giggling at the use of actual mannequins. It's always refreshing to see something other than angry models stomping down the over-cliched runway. Even though I cant really stand Donna Karan, I have to admit I've really like the last few seasons of DKNY. They're covetable in a Marc Jacobs way and they dont cost a kabillion dollars, so that I actually could own them if I got around to spending money on clothes. Plus, I'm diggin those yellow handbags (photos 6 and 10). I'm always a fan of the 50s style 3/4-length suit jackets paired with a full skirt (floral patterns? perhaps this year? but arent the shoes more 40s-ish?). I will cut someone for the hat in photo 19.

Lela Rose - Soooooo cute! Do you see a trend for Spring? Photo 1 has got me thinking about shorts yet again. I love the satin-y baby blue. Photos 3 and 11 are the most non-trashy corset-tops I've seen. They are so cute, I'd consider wearing them - though I would never wear any shirt this baring. Photo 9 is a wacky, sexy secretary (I nearly wrote waxy - which is a good not-made-up-but-good-new-meaning word - let's go one step further and term it waxetary, which is my most favorite look ever). Photo 25 may be my most favorite evening gown so far. I'm stocking up/stealing her ideas for lace and acid green and baby blue.

Luca Luca - Very pretty. He always uses such nice, subdued colors and silky fabrics. It's hard not to like (3,8,9,10,16,24,28,35). The blouses are bordering on too cute, but I still like them and feel that I can make something comparable for my Spring wardrobe.

Luella - Sporty casual. The mini dresses are nice, but nothing too exciting. It doesnt seem very runway-y.

Matthew Willamson - Flirty rich girl that doesnt like to look like a cookie cutter and never wants to go unnoticed. The clothes themselves are pretty demure...very covered-up. The colors are just crazy bright. Sensible clothes for those who like a little color.

Miguel Adrover - I dont get taking it off the runway/show setting but then still making it like a runway. Anyway. And the models look like abs shit. I was starting to believe they were regular people, but no, there's Carmen Kass looking very much like a regular person - and that's no easy task. I really hate all of this. Someone always does this foreign-take-on-the-Old-West. I guess people are really watching that new show on HBO. It's never good. Blech. And 98 fucking photos? What a waste of time, bandwith...

Monique Lhuillier - Classy, well-tailored. Again, very Carolina/Oscar-ish. Is this a trend? A good one, but not for inspired viewing. One could not go wrong with anything here, but that's really no fun when you think of it. The trousers are so sharp, the colors so crisp. It also reminds me of the All-American rich girl of Michael Kors. Great looks when exiting your private jet. Lace, cropped trousers, some sort of silky teal or butterscotch or yellow - key details to remember for Spring. Gorgeous gowns, I'm just feeling a lot of deja vu.

PHI - I've never heard of them (oh wait, these are the people that Michael Dell's wife is funding), but these are some serious Helmut Lang-ish pieces, though definitely softer and more womanly. If I had to be honest, these are much more me. I want to be sugar sweet, but I'm a bit too cynical. I need some hard-edged trousers and some safety pins to keep me from feeling too masked. I also like their emphasis of the hips - like a corset for your lower half. A fantastically mature show...no prettiness for the sake of selling. I really, truly *like* this.

Richard Chai - Very smart clothes...I thought I was going to have to say "*another* Carolina/Oscar??", but then he surprised me with some bright colors and fancy detail. Nice trousers, looooove shirt dresses (this year, I *will* finally make one), standing collars, and ooooh cute designer photo. He *is* Carolina/Oscar but more edge than lady.

Thakoon - Sweet, simple, soft, not mind-blowing. Nothing if not department store-ready.

Tuleh - Glamour. Rich colors, long skirts (what a nice change). He even makes fur look pretty - not gaudy or too-much at all. Just soft and girly. Layered knit shirts is another look I'll steal.

Vera Wang - Gorgeous and surprisingly original...there's a bit of Prada and Carolina/Oscar, but it's also young and modern and sleek and new. I wouldnt say hip, because the girl that wears these is far beyond something as effervescent as "hip". This is fashion-plate material. Photo 29 is a lesson in being simple and sophisticated and not-trying-too-hard and def not just-a-princess.

Zac Posen - So mature! But def not old. He really can make the most simple item appear couture (photo 20, 39). And look at the hair and makeup - who does not want to be this girl?? I dont know why idiot Puffy is comparing him to Marc Jacobs...I think he's more English in his cutting - a Galliano or McQueen without the dramatic presentation. I will consider forgiving him for aligning himself with Puffy. I pray it's just for the money.

New York Fashion Week - Day 3

Alice Roi - Simple, not-ugly, but maybe a tad too much potato sack. I dont believe you have to be super sexy to be fashionable, but I do like my designer clothing to be well-fitted. The skinny shirts (long- and short-sleeved) over tiny shorts are nice, I will probably look for something of the sort in the spring.

As Four - Again simple and not-ugly, but this time the fit is nice and the details are truly original. The trousers are my favorite (photos 3, 11). They look so light and flattering, but not at all plain. I usually miss what people love about this label, but this time I'm getting a hint of what is special. The draping in the bodices of the dresses and the blouses is also very interesting. If I could take only one fashion design class, it would be in draping. I always try to do something interesting when I'm making a skirt without a pattern, but it's really so much harder than I ever thought. Maybe if I was good at origami, it would be easier. I love the dress in photo 34 - are those green lame panties??? Looooove.

Behnaz Sarafpout - Looooove it. The ribbons and obis and gold tanks and shoes. There is nothing here that is not covetable. She makes pretty-classy-original clothes in the vein of Carolina Herrera and Oscar de la Renta. I would love to be this sort of girl. What is the white fabric in the first two photos? I'm so intrigued.

Derek Lam - Trousers, polka dots, and bows. There's a 30s/70s vibe here that I'm totally going to rip off. I'm going to lose the terrible belts though. Photo 30 is so positively elegant, that I think I'm going to have to throw a dinner party just to wear it. The color is sooooo nice too. Completely wearable.

Diane von Furstenberg - I look forward to the photos of this show each season. She also makes pretty and elegant clothes, but her's are always SEX first (photo 14, 18, 25, 29). Her signature prints, sexy-working-girl dresses, and slim-cut jackets are always on my wish-list-that-Marc-will-never-let-me-have. But how is it that she can make those bohemian potato-sacks but they still look sexy (photo 34)?

New York Fashion Week - Day 2

Carolina Herrera - So elegantly gorgeous and sexy. She's never too flash, but much too vibrant to be boring. Plenty of lace and bows to make me ache, but not too sugar-sweet to make a girl look like a joke. Photos 1, 40, 41, 45 are my favorite.

Bill Blass - Demure is definitely the key word. The styles are simple and classic, but maybe a tad *old*? Photos 13 and 20 are nice in a very Oscar de la Renta way. The evening ware is a great improvement as I see a lot of 50s-style Givenchy - what I dream of wearing to a very formal dinner party (37, 38, 41), though there are quite a few "what the hell collection is this now?!" (39, 45, 48).

Jeffrey Chow - Oooh, I really like this. Interesting colors with simple (yet edgy) designs. It's like lady-like (not-so-slutty) Gucci. I'd be happy with anything here, and I'm really in love with that orange and that blue.

Proenza Schouler - Fairly boring colors and prints for me...I feel like this is all perfect for a (hip) 62 year old. These are def the It Boy designers, but I just cant get excited about anything (except maybe the last dress).

Ruffian - I'm actually really digging the 70s secretary look (photo 3). The prints are so light and delicate, but the styling is so "Take this Job and Shove It". It's fantastic. And the shorts make me actually interested in wearing shorts! I secretly love the idea of evening shorts (just perhaps not gold lame, Beyonce). The dresses just look so new and so cool (14, 16, 18). This is my favorite so far. It's theme-dressing at its best!!

Tommy Hilfiger - An 80s Ralph Lauren collection gone horribly wrong. The bikini coverups are nice though (photos 11, 12). I'd def buy the skirts in photos 14 and 17 too. A friend in high school actually had pants exactly like the ones in photo 28 - her's were from Express though. I just cant get behind double-breasted sleevless jackets.
ps- doesnt Naomi look like shit? 1, 42, 58, 59.

New York Fashion Week - Day 1

Sebastian Pons - Fresh, innocent, milk-maid-ish, clothes that I think my mom made me as a child. I havent seen beribboned lace since 3rd grade, but I think it will be in my wardrobe soon. It's nice to see cool, unpretensious clothes on the runway that arent hideous or hippie-ish or crazysexy.

Doo Ri - Not particularly ground-breaking, but the fabrics and colors just feel like summer. Golds and aquas are showing up a lot, which is good because I'm crazy obsessed with aqua right now. I even want aqua-stained kitchen cabinets. The blouse in photo 3 is perfect for dancing after a day at the beach, preferably Seacrets in Ocean City. Again, simple not-too-sexy and unpretentious dresses and blouses. I'll take photos 13 and 20.

Imitation of Christ - Blech. See? Can you see the difference between pretentious shit and unpretentious wearable clothing? It's really amazing that someone is admitting to "designing" this (see 2,4,5,7,8,10,11,18,19). The Grecian gladiator styles arent so bad, but when you compare them to Alexander McQueen's first collection for Givenchy, you realize exactly how unoriginal and genuinely shitty Tara Subkoff is.

Kenneth Cole - Fairly boring, though the white fabrics really make it difficult to make out details. It's not bad, but there are just wayyyyyy too many men. They have a separate fashion week! Dresses 42 and 47 and 56 would be nice for work. Not really much for dreaming, but maybe that's not a criticism.

Perry Ellis - I've been watching the simple magic of Patrick Robinson for the last few seasons. Not only is he a seriously handsome man, but he makes such wearable, wantable things. Like early Marc by Marc Jacobs. Girlish colors, simple cuts, lots of frills and ribbons. Basically, exactly what you want to put on *every day*. And seriously, only 18 looks?! The definition of unpretention. Fucking IOC had 83 looks (British Vogue wisely edited it down)!!! Plus, he's managed to make the bolero seriously hip.

September Issues

If the idea of September issues for fashion mags doesnt send your heart aflutter, perhaps this post isnt for you.

Vogue UK: Kate Moss is on the cover, thank heavens, since Marc has forbidden me from buying this magazine except for March and September. It's a semi-disappointing photo though, as it's a little poorly photo-shopped. "Flash Dance" has really cool backgrounds, but I cant get over the model. She's much too young and not striking enough. "Deadlier Than The Male" is a cliched fashion spread. I think I saw this in Glamour, fo real. The dresses themselves are nice and I usu like the model (Elise Crombez), but there's nothing fantastical about the layout. "Out of all Proportion" is a nice play on angles and size but nothing worth ripping out. "All Woman" has the best balance of setting, hair, clothing, model. "Mademoiselle" is oh-so-french. I'm very excited for tweed. The layout is all about the clothes, which is refreshing. "Sweet Charity" is a little too styled and yawn.

Allure: Eww Kirsten Dunst. I learned that she really likes how she looks. "Risky Business" - love Erin Wasson, love secretarial settings, love noir.

Let's hope Harper's and Vogue arrive soon.

Ad reviews:
Gucci: nothing too shocking, but the army green sequined dress and matching fur shrug is breathtaking. Tom Ford really is gone though.
Gap: why the fuck would anyone give SJP a job? Especially one that requires modelling? She's old and not-so-cute and I dont think this is going to do much for the gap.
Dior: Gwen's influence on Galliano is quite visible, but unfort it's on euro-trashy-chinatown-ripoff crap.
Prada: Such great clothes, such terrible ads. She's sticking with the ugly model, bad makeup, hyper-photoshopped-plastic-skin look.
Louis Vuitton - I'm waiting for the full 8-page version in Vogue. Initial thoughts? Tired of actresses in ads. Please make Chloe Sevigny and Scarlett Johannson go away, though it's a step-up from JLo.
Bottega Veneta: True luxury. Their ads and products always look like sophisticated old-money.
Paul Smith: Stand-out.
Versace: Can this label get more lame? Seriously, this is retread of low-rent Versus.
MiuMiu: Why did everyone decide that Maggie Gyllenhaal is attractive or interesting?
Chanel: Boooooring and not even Kate.
Sisley: Naked ugly girl!
Smeg: I abs love that this refrigerator company advertises in every issue of British Vogue. I would *die* for one.
Guess: Whyyyyyyy Paris Hilton?
JLo: Why does she still exist anymore? Is there any earthly use for her?

Wow, I'm petty.

Paris Couture - Day 3

Elie Saab - Glam-mooooour. Spider webbed sequins, high-waisted disco pants (Photo 6 espec), very lovely. Of course, Hollywood stylists will soon make this stepford wifed blah. Like Oscar, this designer is just very good at making pretty perfection. There’s certainly nothing wrong with that, although it’s something I usually fault a designer for. In this case (and in Oscar de la Renta’s), I feel there’s still a love of fashion and risk mixed in with the faultless designs. Not crazy for the members only jackets over some of the dresses and is that *three* wedding dresses at the end?

Jean Paul Gaultier - DESPISE the hats and fringe, but love the sweater boots. Are those pant-boots in Photo 4? There’s a whole disco-robin hood thing here that I’m not digging…I feel like you need an eagle on your forearm to wear this. Maybe I just feel this way because of the overabundance of capes – something I’ve been toying with in my head for the last few years. I have this green plaid cape of my mother’s that I have yet to figure out the best way to wear. I think you will def see it this year though. I will not be wearing it with a fedora, fyi and Photo 25 is wow.

Paris Couture Fall-Winter 2004-5

I know it's been days and days and days. I have a lot to discuss, but first things first!

Dior - Well you already know how I feel about that. Sigh.

Ahhhh, Valentino. He always gets it right. Always wearable but not in the slightest bit common. He's fantasy if your desire is to be a lady of leisure or the wife of a French president or luxury goods magnate. And tell me who doesnt have such desires. The smartest suits with a more than healthy dose of film noir. A cigarette is required equipment for such a look, as well as a thick coating of knife-edged dragon red lipstick. Photo 18 is what I will meet you in for drinks, where you can tell me the details on how you plan to kill your wife. Photo 21 is what I will wear to the 30th birthday of a dear model friend and where you insult me and I'm forced to toss my dirty martini in your face [sorry dahling]. Photo 28 will be worn to one of the never-ending art gallery openings...though on this particular night I overhear a handsome stranger's plan for stealing the crown piece of the art show, moments before its auction. And, of course, I lounge around the apartment in Photo 43.

Anne Valerie Hash - Her style is a little too floaty-bland-*artiste* for me, though the blouse in Photo 18 is lovely. The multi-layered pleating of the skirt in 25 is also very interesting. As a whole, her style of reconstructed menswear is just not very me. And it's all about me.

Ralph Rucci Chado - I usu view him as the epitome of bland, but the inkling of courrege and 60s style livens things up. A tad. A very sharply dressed woman, no doubt. Perhaps I will wear Photos 9, 20 and 21 when I enter my sixth or seventh decade...Photo 31 is simply lovely though.

Paris (Day 5.5)

Kenzo - Mini-Galliano this season...so odd that they have so many matching influences...the Scarlet skirts, the kimono-esque dresses. Kenzo is just on a slightly less-over-the-top scale. 7,19,22,30-those tights!!!,41,45,46

Louis Vuitton - An amazing coat (1). I can honestly say I've seen nothing like it. A nice mix of textures and styles. I love the hair and capelets (12- i'm just a sucker for blue satin bows). Dark plaids sometimes come across as dated Ralph Lauren rejects, but he's used these in a modern-y vintage-y way that makes them fresh and lust-worthy (15). These daring 40s/50s dresses are just *this* side of cheesy, but in such luxe fabrics and rich colors they're *that* side of phenomenal (19,20,36,41,43). Gorgeous funny suits - 31,35...yay!

Martin Grant - Nice 60s style...28,29,32,33,34...awesome midnight blue and purple. 36 is just fabulous.

Martine Sitbon - Drapey, ruffley, nice, but maybe there have been better shows.

Nina Ricci - Very wearably, well-dressed comfort. The colors are fantastic (37,39,41). Nice girl clothes.

Revillon - Rick Owen's blah (see below), now with more fur (it's one of the oldest fur brands).

Rick Owens - boooooring. i have yet to understand his appeal. supposedly he makes paper-thin leathers...woo. There's always a prisoner-in-a-space-colony vibe and it depresses me.

Sonia Rykiel - Whatever decade is the touchpoint for 12 and 13, I'm totally in. 20s? Gorgeously bright and happy dresses, hilarious sweaters, just plain perfect dresses (did I already mention). Love the cabaret feel of the closing. I want to be so....Rykiel too!

Stella McCartney - Some more (s'more?) sleeping bag wear, maybe not quite as successful. The prints of the jackets are striking and new (11,13). Futuristic cool (16,19,37,40,46)...the dresses are the most interesting and the most lovely.

Tim van Steenbergen - Slouchy, avant-rumpled suits and dresses. I actually really like this.

Valentino - I love ties. Especially with such a feminine lace blouse (1,20). Sexy, manly ('cept that fabulous fur shrug in 10). I am crying for everything in photo 14. Oh my. Just look at every photo. Drop Dead Gorgeous. Every single one. So utterly french...masculine mixed with femme, hard with soft...perhaps he should be at YSL? I cant imagine why a celebrity would pick another designer's gowns...these are jaw-dropping.

Viktor & Rolf - Let's ignore the antlers for a moment and comment on how deceptively simple and fantastic photo 2 is. Photo 5 or 16 could be the most perfect suit I've seen. I esp like the black bow belt in 5. Are you seeing a trend of strong (not necess padded) shoulders? This is probably their least wacky show and is most def their most undeniably wearable collection. I really liked each piece. Like, a lot.

YSL Rive Gauche - The colors! The shoulders! Satin and velvet have become almost Tom Ford trademarks...these are gorgeous examples of his knowledge of women's desires. All sexy and hard and just this side of scary. The detail in the skirts is amazing (partic 30)...skirts should never be too simple, as the bit of leg showing is enough to make anything look nice. Great evening - 32,34,35. A very good final showing.

Paris (Day 5.25)

Ok, I lied. I didnt notice that Vogue UK hadnt posted *TWENTY-FIVE* shows, but did so today. Argh. These will be split over two more days!

Akris -I read an interesting article on this designer recently. Apparently, his studio is located in the mountains of Sweden or Switzerland or somewhere neutral like that. He has little contact with the fashion world, which gives a very classic and untrendy influence to his clothes. These are surprisingly un-boring pieces. The structured jackets and flimsy blouses is always a nice look. 17,18,23,31 - very classy and safe but not at all boring and simple.

Alexander McQueen - Incredible workmanship without theatrics. Very un-McQueen, but his skills are quite evident. The slinky draped dresses (14 - a modern grecian style and 40 too, 39,45,48) and the just as slinky, impeccably cut (and so new!!! such interesting styles!) tweed suits (5,8,9,24). I have even more respect for him now. This is proof of his talent, more than any other show I've seen. So mature and sophisticated, and still drop-dead avant garde (9,20). Stunning. Inspiring.

Ann Demeulemeester - Riding clothes gone deconstructed. 9 and 33 are nice.

Balmain - Seriously missing the femininity and exactness of Oscar de la Renta...33 is nice in a predictable statement evening gown sort of way. A little bit *mature* woman.

Cacharel - I adore unexpected coat linings (4)! Why isnt this more common?! Very cute (23,37,46), but not cute enough to make me cry.

[difficulties on Vogue UK so onto Vogue.com (sorry)]

Chanel - A little bland, though the lace skirts are appealing (16,18). The overalls, sweatsuits, and leather pants are jaw dropping in their awfulness. This whole show reminds me of those fake Chanels you see where you think "but Chanel would never even make anything that awful!"

Collette Dinnigan - Gorgeous lace (4,7,18,35,36), though a lot of the rest are a bit mall slutty.

Chloe - Nice layering and nice dresses. I will never be able to fully get behind the caftan. Perfect trousers, delicate tops, and big and small cardigans make for a cosy fall. Some of the best dresses to dream about (30,37- the colors!).

Givenchy - Matrix-Audrey. Nice and grownup dresses (4,11,27-acidy orange is my new favorite!,29,31,36,39-or maybe yellow,43-that lace! those layers!!,45). Soft suits (13,16). Hard jackets (9,21). A seriously fantastic last collection. I hope he finds a better house that will give him the respect he deserves. I need a formal cocktail party and I need those dresses!!

Hermes - Gaultier keeping with the Hermes horsey theme...not *such* a fan. I do think the new clutch Birkins (15) are exciting and the saddle-stitched corsets (10)! Of course, all of the leathers are a dream...edgy but classic (12,21,27,46,53), as is the use of orange (24).

Hussein Chalayan - A little bulky and morose. Very nicely cut trousers though (24). And little ballet dresses (30), with fabulous hems.

John Galliano - Insanity! With a little bit of Westwood (8). A vagrant mexican Scarlet. Bizarre. Loooove the cut and sheerness of the over dresses/skirts (17). If you believe that fashion is not art, then how do you explain Galliano?

Lanvin - Sexy little things 6,14,19,41,45. Properly pretty little things 8, 20,21,22,39,40. Odd 12, 16, 43 (perhaps Nobel Prize Chic?). Militaristic chic 13. Basically, party girl clothes for every mood.

The end of all this fashion (Paris, day 5)

Celine - Michael Kors knows how to dress the elegant, stylish woman. You can picture his clothes on a 22 year old and a 76 year old and both would look the epitome of WASP-y sophistication, but with a layer of fun and sexy just under the surface. The perfect Hitchcock heroine, if you will (1,10,11- I adore this cut of sweater...very Audrey, 12,37) . He's incapable of doing even the tiniest bit of sleaze, he's all about luxury - sweaters, leathers, sunglasses (5,13).

Dries Van Noten - Oh how I hate this woven fabric in these rug-like patterns and colors. These pants are horrendous (8). I do like the coats in 22 and 26...the color/pattern/cut are very nice. 73 photos, praise the Lord for a fast connection.

Helmut Lang - I like skinny black pants. I dont like coppery leather. Especially in asymetrical, cropped jacket form (17). I despise his take on an evening gown. That was just godawful. I'm intrigued by the ruffle on those boots tho.

Loewe - Jetset sex. Looooove the cut of the pants (5,31), the fur vests (20), the slim dresses (6,16,27), the coats (8,25), the ribbons (6,32), and all those boots! I didnt want this show to end. The most fashionable without being obnoxious, muted without being boring. Excellent.

Veronique Branquinho - Mysterious hats, FBI agent gear (meaning not sexy like a double-crossing spy). A little too frumpy, diy to me. The silk pajamas feel towards the end of the jackets, dresses, and skirts was an interesting look. I especially like the understated evening of 45.

Pah-ree (Day 4)

Alexandre Herchcovitch - I only wish the models were smiling, because this is such a fun, whimsical collection. The minnie mouse/bumblebee aesthetic is silly, but the pieces are interesting. I love the bustier over tight t's (4) and girlish, poufy sleeves [what's the name for that?] (8, 11). There's a few moments of 19th century corpses, but the bright ruffles redeem him (24).

Bernhard Willhelm - Hmm. The models are much more interesting than the clothes. Early 90s rave. Eh.

Christian Dior - Pure fantasy. I dont understand why when designers do "fashion" it's so serious and hard and scary, but when Galliano does it, there's humor and skill and insane creativity. The cut, the colors...just perfect for a dream (or a circus)! From the clownish colors to the light as air cotton candy dresses (2,5,10,11, 17, 22, 27). And how do you like those David Byrne suits at the end? I love him.

Comme des Garcons - Dropped shoulder seams, backwards pants...The feminized avant garde men's suits (16,17,18,19). Gathered layering, while not bulky is definitely still odd. I'm not sure how I feel about the short pants over long pants. Skirts over pants I'm fully in support of...It's the same thing with Galliano, you are seeing a vision and you have to imagine the real-life, sellable piece. A slightly toned down version of most of these would be very nice and not even that crazy (1,5,21,28,29,33). Just enough edge to keep us all entertained (or confused).

Costume National - Oooooh. 21st century spy noir! (1,4,7!!!!!). Exotic but not overwhelming. I like the small details, the bows on the trouser cuffs (13), the perfect cut of 14. I see a lot of Tom Ford in these designs (partic his YSL design-style), but that's not a bad look to mimic (that icy but sensual, hard but flirty look) (15,24,34,36,43). I really liked all of this...just for the shear fact of its wearability.

Emanuel Ungaro - First of all, I think I want to dress us all in these clothes. How could any of us be unhappy wearing such happy, dreamy, sexy, flirty, fun, feminine, forward things?! The perfect jacket (1), the perfect bubblegum pink (3,6,7), our new jeans and tshirt (11), dropdead gorgeous florals (16,17,20), light-as-a-feather slink (22,23, 25, 27,28, 30,31,36), the perfect christmas party wear (37), and what I'll be wearing to prom (44). I love every single thing. The colors (the reds and blues!!! oh, but those reds and pinks. red!), the fabrics, the whisper-y cuts. Wow wow wow.

Issey Miyake - You cannot take away my love for tulle (4, 6,76,77). Or for silver, heavily seamed skinny pants (13). Or wacky jackets (31, 35). I've never had much love for lace leggings though. I love the printed (and matching!) boots (59, 73). The prints are so original. They seem like pages of a particularly busily illustrated children's book. The clothes are little-girl-dressup with a whole lot of style.

Jean Paul Gaultier - Freaky sexy, freaky androgyny, freaky homeless-lady-weirdly-baggy coats. I didnt really enjoy this, save for the last dress. Very disappointing, as I usually love his shows.

Lagerfeld Gallery - White rebel chic. Siberian motorcyclist. So hardcore. All skinny rockstar pants with black suede stiletto boots. I think Lagerfeld is vying for the job at YSL. The no-nonsense sex. The butch mixed with the ethereal goddess. Every single photo is pure triple-x fantasy. Unh.

Rochas - Mini-skirted evening wear seems so 60s charming. The laces and darker colors make them seem very now. Very fashion forward. It's a very good compliment that I can picture Kate Moss wearing every single dress. The shoes and gloves give an added kooky sophistication. 9, 14, 20, 26, 39. The heavily structured tulle ballgowns are just pure imagination. 38, 44. A feast of the best in evening, if you like a little Mod in your glamour.

Oui, Paris! (Day 2 and 3)

AF Vandevorst - This version of military is not my bag. I like contradictions, but the flowers and ballerinas mixed with military jackets and details doesnt work very well. I would cut you for those boots (especially in blue -25) if you were wearing them right now though.

Andrew Gn - Not thrilled, but 15, 17, 19, 25, 32 are almost perfect. I adore the sequins...they look like Broadway blocks from here. Very cold, sexy, and I adore the poufy short sleeves.

Balenciaga - I have been waiting breathlessly for Nicolas Ghesquiere to thrill me as he did (now) several seasons ago. I'm still waiting. 16,21,22,23 are fabulous though.

Bruno Pieters - Some of this could be a toned down Yohji (14,15,17,28). Some is just plain jawdropping (2,10,25,26,27,29,31). Wow.

Gaspard Yurkievich - Either all the models are fat or he doesnt cut a very flattering silhouette. The few good pieces seem like theyve been done before (better).

Haider Ackermann - Very dorky 80, bad sci fi. I dont like the shoulders at all. I dont really like his colors or fabrics at all either.

Isabel Marant - I feel like I need to be at that party in LA in Annie Hall? Ya know, the one thrown by the guy played by Paul Simon? I'd be the hottest girl in 3 or 4. Floaty, subtle, simple, sublime. I totally dig these: 16, 19, 31, 38. The random shouts of color are so random, she should have left them out...I'm actually not bored by the rest of her palette because the pieces are so well thought out.

Junya Watanabe - Sleeping bag chic. No really. Some of the jackets look very nice (7, 8, 9, 10, 20, 26). The toned down 'bags look extremely comf (11, 21, 23, 29). The sweaters are amazing (31,32). Actually, the more I look at these, the more perfect everything seems. I think I am most impressed by this collection. So different, so covetable.

Girbaud - Iiiiinteresting pants (4, 10, 43) and jackets (5, 12, 21) and boots (8, 27,45). Is that Mad Max mixed with Edwardian? Whatever it is, I'm so in. The heavy construction of each piece leads to a perfect fit and the right amount of edge. I really loved every single look.

Vivienne Westwood - The very best in punk and deconstruction (21). Wacky ass sweaters, yes, but this outfit is luxe luxe luxe (9). I love all the extraneous ties and belts...it's the luxury version of too many zippers and useless straps (35, 46). They serve no purpose, just to make everything a little tougher, a little less pretty, a little more wrong.

Paris (Day 1)

Undercover - Sloppy punk. I can spot a few choice pieces, but it's hard to make a real assessment through the piles of clothes.

Yohji Yamamoto - This is the most Wixlet collection in history. I hope she enjoyed it. I love taking such fussy shapes and making them seem so laid back and easy. I mean, is that calico (2,3,6)? They look so low-maintenance and happy for a Fall collection. I love them. In fact, I want to make them. The built in bags are a little much but maybe theyll be pared down for the store. The dress in 46 is the epitome of cool...the cool girl with a perfect body that doesnt feel the need to prove it.

Y's - Those split skirts are sooooo wrong, but I think I want one sooooo bad. Interesting things with simple white and black shirts. Keep that in mind (1,2,56,58,60).

Milan (Day 5)

Again, sorry for the delay!

Burberry Prorsum - Rich, rumply, belted. The patent coat in photo 14 reminds me of early Tom Ford Gucci. The color, the fit. Very nice. I'm dreaming of belted coats and dresses, for sure.

Dolce and Gabbana - People love to hate the baby doll, but I will forever love it. It's quite flattering to my preferences and it makes your legs look very long. It's surprisingly girlish for the drop dead sexy norm of Dolce and Gabbana. Their talent for creating the crispest, sexiest suits and photos (5,7) does not disappoint. I'm sensing a less matronly Chanel influence, which can never be bad (9,14,31). I only worry that it's a bit toooo Chanel (56,58). These are the perfect pants, however (57). It's hard to criticize such genuinely fun and sexy (get me a thesaurus, stat) clothes.

Fendi - Hard-edged luxe. This bloody purple (5)...oooooooh. Purrrrfect pants (10). Spacey comfort. Each piece looks soooo comfortable - my ideal party clothes.

Jil Sander - Quietly chic. Simple. 18,22,23,31,32 These seem like Natalie Portman dresses. You need to be perfectly pretty to pull off the plainness.

Marni - This is the collection that Miu Miu should have been (2,8,16,24,29,34). All of Miuccia Prada's fingerprints are there, the 50s feel, the vintage charm, the pairing of the ugly with the cheery, the nerd appeal. Marni captured all of this and perfected it. Plus, I want tweedy hotpants more than anything in the world (46). Damn, photo 2 is just everything I want to be on a daily basis this Fall.

Missoni - Like Pucci, it's hard to go wrong with these signature prints. They give instant fun and a vintage appeal, but the design is also pure fun and classy-sexy - very in-the-know without being overdone. (2,3,10,14,27,42,43)

Miu Miu - I wasnt sure of the color scheme until I reached photo 8. The fabric of that skirt and the cut of that coat! Mmm. Perfect Barbie-wear. The rest are some great pieces, but nothing to cry for. I did like 35,40,46 very much, however.

Moschino - I always love the 40s Minnie Mouse look to these clothes. The lavendar legs, the dress in photo 7, ladylike, daring, fun. The prints are so wacky chic (are those women??). I'm desperate for the perfect leopard print investment and some nice bright tights.

Roberto Cavalli - Hideously ugly. Do I really have to look at all 72 photos?! *seriously* ugly.

Versace - It's not fair cuz I'm a sucker for herringbone! And I love it mixed with yellow! But this is just not good. And there should be an award for ugliest hair, makeup, and models. Ick. Just stick with the red carpet gear. I mean, anyone who thinks that 39 and 40 are *fashionable* or even desirable on any level should please leave the room. I think women pro-westlers wouldnt get near that shit. Damn, I spoke too soon. Even her red carpet shit fucking sucks. She should have stuck with her standard two looks that she's been recycling since she took over. Any actress who shows up in 52 should be shot.

Versus - Ill-fitting mid-90s slutty mall crap. Can words describe how awful photos 12 and 13 are?